Grahamstown Festival

Early days with Ally

How we met

Ally and I met in the tiny village of Kleinmond (two hours out of Cape Town) across an old rusty fence in the local camp site.  I was there with my two very good friends, Ivor and Julian.  Julian happened to know another guy, Dave, who was also camping there with some of his friends who were mostly female (well done Dave!)  

So there we all stood on opposite sides of the rusty fence and Dave and Julian were catching up and Ivor and I were ogling the girls (including Colleen, Lucy and Tammy ) and they were ogling us back - but in a delightful way.  Ivor and Julian both had their sights firmly on Tammy in her leopard spotted swim suit.  I had my eyes on Ally.

We all joined each other for dinner and got chatting.  Ally mentioned her mum was a psychologist and I made some flippant remark (I cannot remember what) and Ally wasn't too impressed so we weren't off to the perfect start

After dinner, we went to the local disco, Britt's Disco.  Night-life in the area was sorely limited!  We all danced and I seem to remember doing a bit of rock n' roll over arm, under arm with Ally but I don't remember clearly.  But I probably did because it was my usual mating routine to try to impress girls with my newly acquired dancing moves.  Very primitive and by no means, always effective!

The last song to play at the disco was Kylie Minogue's  "Do the Locomotion" and we all created a human chain and danced around the room.  Cool and hip we were not, but it was a lot of fun.

I don't remember who's idea it was to go for a midnight skinny dip in the Palmiet River, but when it was proposed, it was enthusiastically received by one and all.  The water was cold and very black but we weren't deterred and there was lots of laughter and splashing and fun.

Then we all got out to put our clothes back on in the dark.  It was at this point that Ivor switched on his torch in an effort to find his socks (well, that's his story anyway.)  It was later rumoured that Julian and I paid Ivor R10 to switch on his torch but to this day, we both vehemently deny that!  At any rate, I caught sight of Ally's naked bottom in the light beam and that clinched it for me - this was the girl for me.

The next day, on New Year's Eve, we all went to the local beach in the evening to celebrate the coming of 1993.  As we walked to the beach, we carried our bottles of sparkling wine, as did everybody else.  Suddenly some police jumped out of nowhere and pronounced that we would not be able to take any alcohol onto the beach.  A few of the other young students (not in our group, of course) protested.  Suddenly our eyes started to tear up and we found ourselves coughing violently.  It turns out one of the police had let off a tear gas bomb to make his point extra clear.

So eyes streaming, we went down onto the beach without our sparkling wine.  Through the tears, Ally looked as good as ever.  Ally went for a short walk and came back with a white and black sea gull feather.  Playfully she tickled Julian's face with it and I realised she might have her eyes set on him.  But he laughed and that was it.  Next Ally gave my face a little tickle.  It actually felt really, really good.  I said so and took the feather from her and caressed her face softly with it.  And she agreed.

So that is basically how we spent the night.  Talking and caressing, talking and caressing.  No kissing.  No monkey business.  Just two people connecting.  Neither of us wanted to spoil the mood.

Finally the dawn arrived and I sat behind Ally as the sun rose and put my arms around her.  She spontaneously put my hands underneath her jersey against the warm skin of her tummy.  I was elated and very happy to be alive.

Our first kiss!

Later that night, we had our first kiss.  We were in the camp site and everyone was talking and laughing around the braai (barbecue).  Large quantities of alcohol were being consumed.  Thank goodness for alcohol or very few shy people would ever get laid.  Ally and I were off to one side.  She very spontaneously bit my ear lobe.  I warned her that if she did that again, there would be consequences to pay.  She promptly did it again and I went in for the clinch.

Now, I'm a very good kisser and I was confident that Ally would positively swoon and be consumed.  And she gave ever sign to be.  Then suddenly, without warning, she detached herself from my embrace and said to her friend, Colleen, who was sitting a little way away "Colleen, I must butt in and disagree with what you have been saying, I think that..."  Needless to say, I felt a little less confident in my kissing technique.  Ally also remembers this moment with some embarrassment and blames it on the alcohol.

Our first date

For our first date, I took Ally to the Kirstenbosch Gardens at night.  The gardens are closed and locked at night but we slipped over the wall and walked up the slopes to a place where there was a wonderful view of the city by night.  There we had a picnic including sparkling wine in crystal glasses, nuts, cheese and crackers and chocolate mousse.  We had a wonderful time.  My only regret for the evening is that we didn't go skinny dipping in Lady Anne Barnard's Bath.

Other highlights of our early relationship

After our first date, our relationship grew from strength to strength.  We had so many good times.  Here are some of my most vivid memories of our early relationship:

• Ally's 20 th birthday party on Llandadno beach
• How much fun we had at the "Kitch party"
• Getting stuck in the middle of the lake at the Yacht Club party
• Surprising Ally with Chinese dinner in my room - a very special evening
• Leaving little love notes all over Ally's room
• Our third month anniversary at Melkbos after our romantic dinner at "On The Rocks"
• The first time Ally said "I love you" and knowing that she truly meant it
• Saying "ffff- first" whenever we experienced something together for the first time
• Camping at Bain's Kloof
• Our song: "Only You"- and how it originated
• The joy on Ally's face when we bought a full set of Lanquedoc products
• Camping at Palmiet with our friends, including Eleda and Peter
• Our trip to The Graham's Town festival with Julian 
• How cute Ally looked as a pirate at her 21st birthday party
• Having romantic lunches at Le Petit Ferme
• How gorgeous Ally looked at the Viennese Ball in her velvet green dress
• Calling Ally "Allykins" - then later on calling each other "My love"
• "Have I told you lately that I love you? No. Well I do. Still? Always"
• Our romantic weekends away at Mc Greggor, Montagu, Greyton, Elgin, Citrusdal, Hermanus and Franschhoek
• Rowing on the lake at Elgin Lodge
• The way that Gramps adored Ally and how she called him her "Number 2 Hug Man"
• The beautiful, creative cards that Ally made me to commemorate special occasions (see below)
• Ally moving into Willow Road with me
• Ally's delight when I took her on a surprise date to watch Madam Butterfly
• Asking a jeweller to make us a little feather out of gold to remember how we came together
• Our trip to Joberg to meet Ally's dad and Aisa
• Sleeping out on the the balcony in Willow Road
• How we used to re-affirm our love through Ally's ring by taking it off and putting it back on
• Our picnics at Jonkershoek
• Our holiday at Storms River and Natures Valley
• Flying to Johannesburg so Ally could meet her step mum for the first time

Places we went away for weekends

• Stone Mill Lodge (Mc Greggor)
• Mamosa Lodge (Montagu)
• Greyton lodge
• Worcester and Green Gables (Mc Greggor)
• Montagu Hot Springs (Honeymoon suite)
• Windermere (Elgin)
• Pipin self catering (Elgin)
• The Baths (Citrusdal)
• The Windsor Hotel (Hermanus)
• Stonehenge Cottage (Franchhoek)
• Club Mekenos
• Hermanus Whale festival
• Bain's Kloof camping
• trip over Swartberg Pass (Prince Albert)
• Storms River + Natures Valley
• Grahams Town Festival + Wilderness
• Melkbos flat
• Citrusdal Baths
• Elgin lodge - rowing the lake

Special restaurants

• Dulce's 
• Le Perla for crayfish
• Over the Top - particularly desert
• pint of prawns at Plett
• On the Rocks
• Over the Top
• Trumps

Letter written to Ally on our 3rd month anniversary (click to enlarge)

 Cards Ally made me

Poems I wrote for Ally

If I was a bird

If I was a bird and so were you…

I’d kiss you with the gentle pecks of a parrot

I’d dive down for you with the lightning speed of a falcon

I’d shout out my adoration for you with the piercing calls of a cuckoo

I’d run towards you with the powerful strides of an ostrich

I’d sing for you from the highest tree with the sweet melody of a nightingale

I’d dance for you with the up and down bobs of a love-struck albatross

I’d cry out for you with the plaintive lament of a lonely fish eagle

I’d swim for you with the splashy kicks of a grebe

I’d soar to reach you with the majestic glides of a Martial Eagle on a rising thermal

I’d hover above you like a kingfisher before its plunge

I’d look at you with the unblinking gaze of a forest owl

I’d woo you with the gentle coos of a turtle dove

I’d prepare a home for you with the meticulous care of a weaver

I’d stroke your feathers with the soft caresses of a love bird

I’d fly south – across ocean and land – with the single minded purpose of a swallow seeking out the summer…

To sweep you up in my wings and hold you close.

Dolphins

If you ever get lonely, my love,

close your eyes and imagine that you are a dolphin and so will I

Living in a warm sea with a lush tropical island close by

We spend our days surfing the waves and exploring the coast

While at night, we float in the gentle currents and watch the stars above

Mates for life, our love is as deep as the ocean floor

While our being together is as inevitable as the ebb and flow of the tide

And our spirits fligh as free as our abandoned leaps into the sky.

So when you’re lonely my love, imagine that you are a dolphin and so will I

Because then our minds will meet in a warm sea under a blue sky.

You are…
You are the the twinkle in my eye

The smile on my lips

The happiness I feel

And the song I sing

You’re the warmth that wells up inside

The word I cannot express

The joy that makes me laugh

And the beauty that makes me gaze

You’re the idea that makes me dream

The thought that makes me swoon

The feeling that makes me breathless

And the love that spins me around and around and around

Related links
Graeme and Ally (1993 - 2009)
Wedding day (Feb 2000)
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Meeting Ally

We met in the little camp site in Kleinmond, about an hour and a half out of Cape Town. I went camping with Julian and Ivor and met Ally for the first time accross an old rusty fence. We chatted a bit, then hit it off on new year's eve, thanks to a sea gull that left us a feather on the beach.

Click here for details of our first meeting and our early relationship.

Getting my first computer (with Windows 3)

I had a Commodore 64 as a child at school but got my first proper computer in 1992 when I was in the final years of my marketing degree at Old Mutual. It was running Windows 3 and it was an instant love affair.  I have wonderful memories of doing my final marketing thesis on it.

 

Windows 3.1

Excel 4

Word 3

Letters from dad to Jo when she was overseas

11 August 1991

Dear Jo,

Just a note to accompany Mum's letter. I was sorry to hear that your trip to Canada is turning into a bitter sweet experience  due to the behaviour of a certain member of the family.

However all you can do now is to make the most of things & enjoy yourself as best you can. You don't have to stay there any longer than you wish & you are free to leave when you want. However unless your travel involved the States I now think place improved. I hear that you have plans to travel to the States before long. If you can, try to find a travelling companion – it is a very big country with more than its fair share of weirdos & it would be better if you were not completely alone. Going on an organized tour would be fine but I am a bit skeptical of going to places like Las Vegas etc completely on your own.  Something to bear in mind when you make your plans.

Mum, as usual, has told you all the news of the last few weeks. However, she didn’t come to P.E. with me so wasn’t able to write about that, except in passing. An old model friend of mine, Ralph Dunstan, is dying of cancer in P.E. so Peter Heydenrych & I went up to see him before it was too late.

It was not one of our happiest trips, as you can imagine. I have travelled to P.E. quite a few times over the past 10 years but never have I experienced such shocking & wild driving conditions as on the way there this time. It started to rain about 100 km out of Cape Town & things got progressively worse so that by the time we got to Humansdorp (the time we got to have been driving into the wind most of the way at about 100 km/hr.  Fortunately it was blowing from behind so it wasn’t too difficult to drive but cars coming from P.E. were forced to stop. Roads were being blown over cliffs & rocks & sand as well as numerous trees. Fortunately none of these fell onto the road so the road wasn’t blocked. 

When we eventually got to P.E. about 2 o’clock that afternoon we learned that the eye of the storm had passed through the city about 4 hours previously & winds had reached 140 km/hr. The roof of a shopping complex had been blown off as well as the roofs of several houses. We were very pleased to have got there in one piece & thought that that was the end of the drama. How wrong we were – for 600 passengers & crew of the Oceanos, it was just beginning. The storm had reached the coast towards East London at about 8 PM that evening & mountainous seas off the Transkei coast. The liner sprang a leak in the engine room & started sinking. For the next 12 hours the crew tried to seal it beneath so the rescue operation swung into operation. Helicopters were sent from Ciskei towns & even as far away as Pretoria. In the end everyone was rescued, 400 people were picked up in tossing ships & 200 were lifted off by helicopters. The ship finally sank at about 8 am the next morning! It was the largest passenger liner ever to have sunk off the S.A. coast & also the largest rescue operation ever to have been carried out in S.A. waters. And of course the good old T.V. was there giving a blow by blow account. You might have seen a snatch of that drama on your T.V. 

Also making the news was the very worrying fact that the captain had given the order to abandon ship, & most of the crew were among the first to leave, he on a helicopter & the crew in lifeboats, leaving the passengers to fend for themselves. That will take a lot of explaining when the court enquiry takes place. All in all that was one hell of a storm.

By contrast, the trip back from P.E. the Monday was uneventful – a beautiful day. Heath is now at all but the danger was very apparent by your March. Graeme says it is his first week at this square – 4 music, 2 sport for a whole year. It was granddad’s 83rd birthday this week. Just hope he doesn’t do anything silly.

I thought the Rockies looked very spectacular in your photos – made the Cape mountain look like mole hills. Keep well, keep sane & enjoy yourself.

Love from

Dad

14 May 1992

Dear Jo,

I hope that when you get this letter that it is not going to start snowing — even with the sun shining — you will probably die of the shock. I really hate the last vibrations of writing lump when your mother gets down to writing a letter, she describes everything in detail which gives me precious little to rehash on — hence I loose heart & don’t write — though said I wouldn’t!

This is really to wish you a very bubbly birthday which you will already have had when you read this but then it is the thought that counts. You will be blowing on the 16th so I can wish you a bubbly birthday then in person.

I enjoyed your letter relating your adventures in the “Big Apple” — you have a most humorous way of relating them. There is no doubt you have inherited my naughty sense of humour — thank goodness for that! We have sent a copy of your latest letter to Julia Samkin (who will also split his sides about your description of the Benedictine Monk in the house — what a character).

Johnn and I are like naughty schoolboys when we get together — when Mum & I went to Knysna about 6 weeks ago, we didn’t stop laughing the whole time.

I hope your trip around America is going well & that you have managed to find a few girls in the YMCA’s instead of all me. I don’t think that I would relish changing in front of 16 girls. In any case, write it all down so we can share your experiences. I hope the racial troubles have abided — they must have because we don’t hear anything on the news now. I think that those that have shaken America to the core were very quick to tell us (SA) what to do but all of a sudden they seem to have the same troubles there. It is very much a case of “do as I say, not as I do!”

You have no doubt heard all about the new “holiday home” at Melkbos. It is now completely furnished — except for picture on the walls. It really is a magical spot & we have had some other weekends down there. One literally walks out of the lounge & onto the beach! At high tide the sea is only about 20 metres away — It is paradise for the dogs especially Meg who loves swimming for pieces of wood thrown in the sea for her – she is a real water dog & completely fearless even in the waves. We have not told many people about it, especially “family” – not even Wilga so please don’t mention it to her if you go to visit. I don’t really mind Wilga knowing but I do not want the “family side of the family” knowing things. I have been rather trained, since the court case and the less the family knows about any offence the better. Unfortunately that will have to include Wilga (who might get it all unintentionally at some time). Wilga is the only member of the family who I intend to keep in touch with. Aunt Louise has receded in shattering the family totally which is very sad as it was quite close knit when Grandpa McGrath was alive. Some digress on a rather sorry tale but Wilga would think it a bit strange if she hears about it from you & yet when she was here about 3 weeks ago for her mother’s funeral, we didn’t mention it. Nuff said. The afternoon and evening are the best time at the flat as it faces due west & so receives the afternoon sun & then the sun goes down like a giant red ball over the sea — to say that the sunsets are spectacular is an understatement. To watch all this with a whisky & soda in my hand is heaven indeed. At least your mother hasn’t moaned that.

You will be pleased to hear that England is having an early summer — temperatures in London (I listen to John every morning on the radio — including NY & Vancouver) are in the late 20s! When we all went over in June 1977 to visit Tony & Dorothy it rained 27 out of 30 days & it was freezing. It would appear that the term “global warming” applies particularly to England. You will love England in the summer — it is a really beautiful place to be at that time of the year — clear sunny days, long balmy evenings (sunset only at 10 PM) & above all the greenness of the English countryside — there is none greener.

If you have any sense you will be on the lookout for a good-looking, intelligent, elegant English bird with a wicked sense of humour — whom you will proceed to seduce & marry in a very short space of time & settle down to a life of wedded bliss in a green & pleasant land (ENGLAND). You could do worse than do that — so get your eyes hooked when you get there.

I am going up to the Transvaal in ten days to another annual “steam meet.” It is being held at a place called Viljoenskroon which is about 150 km north of Johannesburg. They are having the worst drought this century up there so the countryside will be anything but green. However, I enjoy these trips so am looking forward to it. As usual I am travelling with my old friend Des, whom I get on very well.

Mom has no doubt told you all the news but I thought it was about time that I added my 20¢ worth. Am looking forward to another episode of your travels, if & when you stop long enough to write it!

Enjoy your time in England & take care.

Love from Dad

Jo's boyfriends pre Antony

Miles 

Anthony

Louis