Antony

Things I admire and appreciate greatly about Antony

• His amazing, warm hospitality whenever I stay in Cape Town, always making me feel so welcome.
• His love for his family.
• What a wonderful dad he is; dads simply don't come better.
• The ease with which he tells the kids he loves them and is proud of them.
• His great sense of humour, sense of fun and readiness to have a good laugh.
• His passion for life.
• His love of travel and new experiences.
• His love of hiking and camping.
• His enthusiasm for food and a glass of good wine.
• Going to watch the kids play hockey on a weekday, even when snowed under at work.
• His deep sense of nostalgia for past memories, TV series, ads, songs.
• Calling Jo "Honeypie."
• How he carved out a successful career for himself doing what he loves, after his MBA
• His sense of wonder and fascination for the world, always full of fascinating facts - a wonderful trait that the kids have inherited.
• His amazing general knowledge.
• Always helping others whenever he can.
• Taking the family on amazing holidays.
• His incredible brain for Maths and figures which luckily Matt and Sam have inherited.
• How he helps the kids with their homework and studying.
• His wonderful wedding speech.
• How organised he is with his admin.
• His ability to do a half marathon.
• His positivity and cheerfulness.
• His ability to build a two story tree-house.
• How he supported Jo, and all of us, after dad passed away.
• Great memories of games of table tennis, computer games, Wii golf  and ball games in the garden.
• Great memories from our family trip down the Orange River.
• Great memories from our Hardcore Hiking weekends.

Letter (May 2014)

Dear Antony

Thanks so, so much for your warm hospitality during my stay in Cape Town, both this time and on so many past occasions. You always make me feel really welcome and words can't describe how much I appreciate it.

Thanks also for being the best dad in the world to Sam and Matt.  They're such wonderful, fun, loving, bright kids and so much of that is due to you.

Wishing you much happiness, adventure, fun, laughter, success for the rest of 2014 and beyond.

Cheers,

G

Email (June 2014)

Hi Antony

I just wanted you to know my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.

I have really fond memories of your dad, especially of his warmth and friendliness and smile. He was clearly a very special man and you could always tell his family was extremely precious to him.

It's so clear and inspiring and wonderful to see how his strong, loving family values continue to live on through you, continuing to affirm and bless the lives of those he loved so much.

I'll continue to think of you all as you commemorate and remember your dad's life - a life so worthy of celebration.

Love to you all,

Graeme

Orange River with dad

Dad and I did The Orange River with Tony Hout and his boys. The scenery was spectacular and the photos below are the first surviving landscape photos I ever took.  I thoroughly loved the adventure. Unfortunately dad was became very unsettled when our raft capsized in the rapid which dampened the whole experience for him quite a bit.

My first DVD player

 The first DVD player was the one I bought when leaving the family home and moving into Willow Road during my 2nd year of university. I'm not absolutely sure, but I seem to remember it was a TEAC.

Event highlights (University years: 1989 - 1993)

Move into Willow Road

• Painting
• Housemates (Dain, Eleda, Peter, Ben, Oliver, Andre)

University

• Botany & Zoology
• Marketing

Trips

• Zululand trip (with dad)
• Knysna; Swartberg pass (with dad)
• Ndumu with Tony
• Storms River, Natures Valley
•  Grahamstown festival

Ally - early relationship

• Palmiet
• Weekends away

Camping

• Palmiet
• Bain's Kloof
• Storms River

Hiking and weekends

• Suicide Gorge 
• Tsitsikama Hiking Trail
• Citrusdahl
• Greyton with Shirley

Wayne Dyer and "Your Erroneous Zones"

I credit this book by Wayne Dyer for awakening my passion for personal development.

Wayne Dyer quotes on Wisdom Trove

Affirmation (University years: 1989 - 1993)

Studies

• Excel formula Tony couldn't do
• Maths 102
• UCT thesis
• Presentation to Old Mutual

Relationships

• Gran and Gramps 50th wedding anniv
• Julian's 21st wedding speech
• Letters to Jo

Speeches

• Julian's 21st wedding speech
• Toastmasters speech

Special connections (University years: 1989 - 1993)

Friends

• Ally
• Julian
• Rory
• Russell
• Ivor
• Tony
• Moira
• Caroline, Louise (trips)
• Joanna

Housemates

• Dain
• Eleda
• Andre
• Peter (plumber)
• Steven (Jesus)
• Ben
• Peter (paramedic)
• Oliver (& Martha)

Youth Club

• Janine
• Warren
• Robert
• Janet
• Steven
• Ben
• Nicola
• Shirly
• Yolande

Family

• Mum typing my essays
• Stay with Gran & Gramps after appendix

Letter to Mr Suttle, my Latin teacher

Mr Suttle taught me Latin through my senior school years.  He taught us Latin translation (using brilliant texts he'd developed himself) and also inspired in me a lasting love of Roman history.  As part of our final year, we had to write 3 extended essays on aspects of Roman history and it gave rise to a level of enthusiasm and creativity in me that surprised and delighted me.  You can read one of them here.

Ray Suttle also taught us how to create and use mind maps as a way to study.  I immediately fell in love with this visual and practical tool and used it extensively in my final school year of study. I also used it at university and have used it often in my career.

Ray was elderly and suffered from gout which made him move very slowly.  Some of the boys called him "Speed Wobble" as a result. In his prime, he was the headmaster of a very reputable private school in Zimbabwe.  He was very highly respected for this leadership and scholarly excellence in the Latin field.  However, by the time he came to St Georges, Latin was rapidly falling out of favour, regarded as a dead language and no longer relevant for the modern age.  In our class, there were only three students who studied it. Everyone else opted for Geography instead.  It was the same story in all the younger classes at St Georges.  I think Ray felt this lack of interest very keenly.

In my final exam at school, I gained a distinction in Latin, thanks to Ray's excellent teaching.  This distinction, coupled with a distinction in Afrikaans, earned me a distinction overall which meant the world to me.

I left school, and went to the University of Cape Town on the slopes of Table Mountain to study 1st year Zoology and Botany. However, on a regular basis, I would return to the vicinity of my old school because I was a member of a youth group in the area.

One night, before going to the youth group, I suddenly felt inspired to write Ray Suttle a letter. It was a thank you note, written quickly on a blank piece of paper, but written from the heart.  I thanked him for his excellent teaching that had earned me my distinction. I told him how much I had enjoyed the classes and that I was finding the Latin really useful in my Zoology and Botany lessons. I also told him how much I benefited by using the mind-maps he had taught us.  

As I drove past the school on my way to youth group, I stopped off at Ray's residence on the boundary of school where he lived with his wife, Mam Suttle, who had been our English teacher.  It was late in the evening and getting dark. I dropped off the letter in his letter box and went on my way.

I forgot about it and 5 or more years went by.

Then one day I received a letter out of the blue.  I cannot remember how the letter got to me; maybe via my mum who bumped into Mam Suttle from time to time.  The letter was from Ray.

In the letter, Ray wrote something along the lines of "I remember that night so well, I heard a scurrying outside the door and went out to see someone disappearing off into the darkness. Then I found the letter.  I have to tell you, in all honesty, no letter has ever effected me more. It came at a time when I was feeling completely demotivated and flat in regards to my teaching profession.  I wondered if it was all worth it.  Your kind, heart-felt words meant everything to me.  They sank very deep. They gave me my mojo back.  They made all the difference in the world.  Thank you, thank you for your letter."

Reading these words moved me to tears. It was, and continues to be, my greatest teaching about the immense power of gratitude expressed from the heart. Inspired by this, I have written many more letters of gratitude over the years.  

Thank you, dear Mr Suttle, for yet another of your priceless lessons.

Mr Suttle introduced us to mind maps like this one ...

Sadder poetry

Not all my poetry is optimistic. With bipolar, I have also experienced some extreme lows.

Here is some sadder poetry.

Poetry sad

Not all my poetry is optimistic. With my bipolar condition, I've experienced some extreme lows too.

See here some of my sadder poetry.

My first introduction to spreadsheeting at university

My first introduction to spreadsheeting in my first year at university. I seem to remember it was Lotus 123 but I may be wrong. I fell in love with it. Spreadsheets have the capacity to convert chaos to order and I have had a life-long love for them.

Our first home computer and my introduction to word processing

At university, Mum would type my essays and reports while I read them out. A great partnership!

 

Progress (University years: 1989 - 1993)

Personal Development

• Reading lots of books on personal development (e.g. Your Errogenous Zones, Feeling Good)
• Mindmaps
• Edward de Bono thinking
• Tony Robbins (The Giant Within)
• Humour

Studies

• Mindmapping
• Creating with computer

More

• Learning to swim on both sides

Non fiction books read (University years: 1989 - 1993)

Personal development

• Your Erogenous Zones (Wayne Dyer)
• Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (Burns, David D.)
• Awaken the Giant Within (Antony Robbins)
• Living the 80/20 Way: Work Less, Worry Less, Succeed More, Enjoy More (Richard Koch)
• Lateral Thinking (Edward de Bono)
• Water Logic (Edward de Bono)
• I am Right, You are Wrong (Edward de Bono) 

Fiction books read (University of Cape Town: 1989 - 1994)

• The Power Of One (Bryce Courtenay) 
• It (Stephen King)
• Pet Cemetery (Stephen King) 
• John Grisham (The Firm)
• River God (Wilbur Smith)
• Kane And Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
• Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less  (Jeffrey Archer)
• Shall We Tell the President  (Jeffrey Archer)
• A Quiver Full of Arrows  (Jeffrey Archer)
• The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
• Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)
  
  

Gratitude (University years: 1989 - 1993)

UCT

• The vibe and life-style
• The library
• Thesis at Old Mutual through Martha
• Getting my first computer
• Mum to do our typing
• Able to use some credits in final year

Willow Road

• So much better than that flat in Rondebosch
• Able to have 3 housemates: financial abundance
• Close to UCT
• Lovely housemates: Dain, Eleda, Andre, Oliver
• Didn't sleep with Allison
  
  
  

Choice of course

• Doing marketing, setting me up for the web and travel (which would lead to Wisdom Trove)
• I don't think I'd have had patience for zoology, plus depression of watching nature being destroyed
• Didn't continue with finance
  
  
  

Friends

• Tony in first year
• Julian, Ivor and Rory in my life
• Russell in final year
  
  
  

Ally

• Going camping with Julian and Ivor when I did
• Ally came into my life when I desperately needed someone to - conquered my appearance obsession
• Ally had recently broken up
• All the memories of our courtship (one of most special times of my life)
• My financial abundance, able to share that, go away to wonderful places

Priceless moments (University years: 1989 - 1993)

General

• My 21st birthday party at Willow Road
• Llandudno boogey boarding, bat & ball
• Joy while walking
• Lazerquest
• Swimming at Constantia Gym
• Ambassadors and youth club camps
• Buying my music system - my 21st party
• Fun with Ivor - great laughs and chats
• Moving into Willow Road and painting
• Buying Willow Road and painting it
• Getting my first car (Gertrude)

University

• New computer - first assignment
• Thesis and stats
• Maths 102

Away

• Storm's River (water logic)
• Grahamstown Festival
• Tsitsikama Trail
• Camping at Bain's Kloof
• Camps with Shirly and co (Greyton)
• Betties Bay, Pringle Bay (with Rusconi's)
• Ndumu with Tony
• Mkuzi, Umfolozi with dad

Dancing

• Robbin Island with Moira
• Ball room dancing
• Viennese Ball with Caroline

Ally

• Meeting Ally
• Early relationship
• Palmiet & New Year's eve with feather
• Skinny dip + locomotion
• First kiss.
• Kirstenbosch date
• Restaurants with Ally (Over Top, On the Rocks, Le Perla, Le Petit Ferme)
• Weekends with Ally at lodges (Franschhoek, Greyton, Montagu, Elgin lake)
• Ally 3rd month anniversary
• Our picnics at Jonkershoek
• Buy skin products and clothes
• Surprise Chinese dinner in my room - first time nookie
• Bath together - Ally shy
• Allikins, " ffff-first"
• Ally's cards
• Dress making for Ally - Viennese Ball
• I love you - 1st (3 month anniversary at Melkbos + Table View restaurant)
• Kitch  party
• Melkbos flat
• You are so naugty!, "Have I told you lately I love you...", "I'm finding you very attractive right now..."  Nookie
• Licked for 1st time
• Yacht club party (kiss on windsurfers, see her in underwear, lose way)
• Queenspark changing room.

Birds

• African Finfoot  (Nature's Valley)
• Black Eagles (Devil's peak)
• Green Coucal  (Mkuzi)
• Half collared kingfisher
• Narina Trogon (Ndumu)
• Pel's Fishing Owl (Ndumu)

Movies

Spiritual moments (University years: 1989 - 1993)

• Joy while walking
• TM Meditation course
• The Alexander Technique and the feelings of effortlessness and peace I experienced as a result.
• Awakenings (movie)  - release
• Storm's River camping by ocean (water logic)
• Ally and the feather on New Year's Eve
• Oliver and laughing about our baldness

Practicing the Alexander Technique

Background

I was motivated to practice the Alexander Technique due to pain in my back and neck, caused by poor posture and bodily tension.

The Alexander Technique involves being peripherally aware in the midst of every movement of the body to minimise effort and tensing of the body.  It had a profound and lasting effect on me.  

My teacher was a beautiful, calm woman who embodied what she taught.  We practiced at her house in Newlands and often used her lovely garden.  I have vivid memories of performing various actions (walking, sitting, lying, opening a door) and she would instruct in a gentle hands on way.

How The Alexander Technique inspired and influenced me 

• The Alexander Technique directly influenced my "calmness mantra" which become something I repeated countless times until it osmosed into my being. I still use this mantra on a regular basis. You can read the mantra below.
• The Alexander Technique inspired my increasing interest in spirituality and meditation - inspiring me to do a TM meditation course and read spiritual books. It also inspired my later interest in Tai Chi.
• During my Old Mutual years, I practiced a form of self developed meditative motion inspired by The Alexander Technique. It involved a series of effortless movements done in a state of deep awareness, often to music.
• The Alexander Technique inspired the principle of "spaciousness" that formally emerged around 2013 and is now one of the three cornerstones of my spiritual journey (Presence, Surrender, Spaciousness). Spaciousness is all about remaining open and relaxed in the midst of all experience, including uncomfortable sensations and emotion in the body.
• The Alexander Technique was my informal introduction to Presence (being in a state of awareness in the midst of activity).

Insights gained by learning and practising The Alexander Technique

• Where we instinctively tense up, we can learn to let go and loosen.
• End-goaling and striving is counter-productive. When we relax into our natural state, we become far more effective and happy.
• If you want to see perfect posture, watch a very young child.
• The head and neck should be relaxed. Imagine a string with a helium balloon hitched to the back of your head, pulling your head and posture very gently up.
• The traditional shoulders back, chest out, back straight instruction for posture is counter-productive. The shoulders should be relaxed and the back should be allowed to rest in it's natural curve. 
• Rush not. Take your time.
• The power of doing everything in a state of open awareness.

My Calmness Mantra (inspired by The Alexander Technique)

• Effortless in mind and body, I nurture and inmost calm in all I do.
• I flow with the journey, letting it unfold with time.
• I act where I can, then allow all to flow.
• I am relaxed and centred, letting nothing phase me.
• Rush not, I take my time. Strive not, I let it happen. Grasp not, I let go. 
• I live a relaxed stroll, letting nothing phase.
• Supported below, each movement is a change to release.

F.M. Alexander, the founder of the technique

Challenges (University years: 1989 - 1993)

Mood

• Obsession re attractiveness (losing hair)
• Feeling low at times (bath, outside house, way to work)

 

University

• Fail accounting
• Final exams "fail" marketing
• Fashion award

Physical

• Shoulder sore (move into Willow Road)
• My sore neck (started in Mukuzi, gave up course)
• Sore back (especially dampening first year's freshers' week)
• Sore joints (knees)
• Erection fears early on (Ally)
• Penis painful

Confidence and envy

• Steven sleeping with lovely girl - jealous, will I ever?
• Pretending to spend night out (stay in bathroom)
• Missed opportunity with Allison