Chris, who is a proud Kiwi and rugby fan, told us during our boxing day get together that the Haka originated by a tribe leader hiding from enemies in a latrine pit. His wife sat on the toilet seat to help hide him. He stared up at her womanly bits and said "Will I live or die." Her female powers saved him from being found and killed. This story is told in the words of the Haka.
Craig, Shushan and I completely dismissed his story and teased Chris for it.
The next day, Chris sent us this from the Internet with the words "I rest my case."
The Origins of Ka Mate
Ka Mate was composed by the Ngati Toa chief Te Rauparaha, descendent of Hoturoa, captain of the Tainui canoe, born 1760s at Kawhia, died 1849 at Otaki.
The story of the composition of Ka Mate is well known within the oral histories of Ngati Toa and Ngati uwharetoa, the two iwi (tribes) most associated with the haka’s origins.
During a period of imminent conflict against the powerful Waikato and Ngati Maniapoto iwi, Te Rauparaha journeyed from Kawhia to seek alliances with other tribal groups, one of those being Tuwharetoa who lived in the Lake Taupo region.
When he arrived at Te Rapa, which is located near Tokaanu he was told by Te Heuheu, the Paramount Chief of Tuwharetoa that he was being pursued by a war party from Ngati Te Aho, who wanted revenge for a previous incident involving Ngati Toa.
Te Heuheu directed Te Rauparaha to go to Lake Rotoaira to seek the protection of his relative Te Wharerangi.
At Lake Rotoaira, Te Wharerangi reluctantly agreed to assist Te Rauparaha and as the war party closed on their quarry guided by the incantations of their tohunga [scholar/priest] he instructed Te Rauparaha to climb into a kumara pit and for his wife, Te Rangikoaea to sit on top. By combining the spiritual qualities of a woman (“the Noa”) and of food, Te Wharerangi was able to weaken the tohunga’s power.
When the pursuers arrived, Te Rauparaha could feel the power of the incantations and is said to have muttered“Ka Mate! ka mate!” under his breath (Will I die!) and “Ka Ora! ka ora!” (or will I live!) when the Noa reduced the incantation’s effect. These lines were repeated many times coinciding with the waxing and waning of the tohunga’s power until eventually Ngati Te Aho were convinced by Te Wharerangi that Te Rauparaha had escaped towards Taranaki. It was then that he finally exclaimed “Ka ora, ka ora! Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru nana nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra!” (I live! I live! For it was indeed the wondrous power of a woman (“the Noa”) that fetched the sun and caused it to shine again!)
“Upane, kaupane”, means “to line up in abreast or in rows”, as one does to perform haka. One could imagine his joy at not only eluding certain death by a mere whisker, but also coming out of the dark kumara pit into the light of day – “Whiti te ra! Hi!”
Some great banter ensued ...
Craig ...
Hi Chris,
You've had plenty of time to compile this story. In any event, I'm not sure it's a legend you want widely known! - we reckon you blokes from over the ditch are full of it anyhow - it might get the Wallabies going into the "Ozzie thunderbox squat" in response..
Cheers Yogi
Graeme ...
Ha, ha. This is classic. Awesome stuff, Chris.
A vivid image is so etched in my mind, I won't be able to watch the haka again without having a good chuckle.
I agree, Yogi, this would be explosive dynamite in the wrong hands!
Shushann ...
I was interested to read about the wife sitting on the Kumara pit - isn't Kumara the sweet potato. Is that where Kumara is stored? So it wasn't actually a latrine.
Graeme ...
That's an interesting thought!
But why would she sit on it with her bare intimates exposed?
I reckon it is indeed the place where Kumara is stored...
... after it's been eaten :)
Craig ...
Shushann,
Don't you know never to ruin a good story with the facts! We now have the Kiwis where we want them - in the dunny.
Cheers Yogi
Chris ...
Hey mate this is hard evidence peer reviewed history but as you imply, what happens in the log drop should stay in the long drop. Cheers Chris
Craig ...
Hi Chris,
No way! I am tempted to forward your story to the Wallabies with the suggestion that they respond to the Haka with the "thunderbox squat" finished off with ceremonial arse wipe & "paper" shaking.
Cheers mate
Yogi
Shushann ...
You guys crack me up!
The toilet it is!
