It's Mr Wynne holding sway at the annual Hiking Club party

Mr Wynne was back in full flow this year at the annual Cape Town "Hard Core Hiking Club" Xmas party. I had lots of fun filling in for him last year. I think James is probably a lot better at it than me - I so traumatised the little kids with my raucous "ho, ho, ho's" that some of them were in tears and refused flatly to sit on my lap. Having said that, I was a real hit with this little one.

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Mr Wynn in full swing

Hoar family reunion

 

Naughty Santa

We went to a Xmas party where I played the role of Father Xmas. Did the kids first, then the adults. Adults were easier because I could be somewhat saucier and they weren't scared by my robust "ho ho ho's" (kids were terrified!)

Some of the lines I used (on the adults, not the kids!):

• I'm lonely up in the North Pole. To be honest, I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
• Heh baby, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
• Wanna see my 12 inch elf?
• Wanna be my elf for the night?
• I've got something very special in my sack for you.
• I know you've been bad, so let's dispense with the small talk, little lady.
• Wanna see my North Pole?
• Sorry I'm late, I got my sack caught in the chimney.
• Know why I'm so jolly? Cause I know where all the bad girls live.
• You scared of me? Are you Claus-trophobic?
• You wanna help me? You can be my subordinate Claus.
• Have you been a good girl - or do you need a spanking.
• What do you get when you cross me with a duck. A Xmas Quacker!
• I was walking along Adderley Street the other day with a honest politician and kind lawyer. We saw a R20 note in the gutter. Which of us do you think picked it up? Answer: Me! The other two do not exist.
• Guess what I had for breakfast this morning. Mistle Toast!
• Guess where I stay on holiday. At a ho-ho tel!
• Control yourself. I don't want water on my knee.
• How many chimneys did I do down today? Stacks!
• Wanna come with me on the sleigh and join the mile high club?
• I come down chimneys because it soots me.
• Hurry up, I have another Xmas I need to get to next year.
• If you want me to keep this up, you'll need to give me Viagra.

A big thanks to Susan (David's girlfriend) for helping me come up with some of the best lines.
There were some good laughs - and yes, a fair number of groans too.

Is Xmas exhausting or what!