My first depression (aged 17)

I experienced my first depression at the age of 17 when I was in Std 9 at school.  

It started with a sudden attack of doubt as to whether I really wanted to study Zoology after I left school. It mushroomed from there and I suddenly found myself consumed with a deeply heavy and contracted feeling that I could't shake off. I was unable to experience pleasure of any kind.  I became very quiet and withdrawn, and mum asked me what was wrong but I said "nothing" as I had no ideas why I felt so awful.  There was no rational reason for me feeling this way.  I had no knowledge of depression and didn't realise that I was in the grips of it.

I forced myself to focus on my preparation for the coming exams (exams always being a source of real anxiety for me) although this was a real struggle.  But I persisted with my studies, day by day, almost obsessively, and slowly the depression lifted as I regained a sense of control and momentum.