Sub A: Fear of caning (terrified on 1st day that "cuts" meant being punished with a knife)
Convinced I was stupid, and the only reason I did well was because I studied harder that everyone else.
Mental Tests every Friday (Std 2)
Anxiety and dread ahead of school tests (e.g. geography crying)
Agony after tests, remembering mistakes I'd made
Messed up my English test (Std 3) - felt so bad, I pretended to be sick and went to sick-bay.
Missed the Std 6 mid year exams (I pretended illness by putting the thermometer in my coffee, wrote exams at home)
Std 7 history test about 2nd world war - hadn't studied part of it. Agonised over it.
Taking days off (pretending to be sick) so I could study.
Feeling the need to start studying for exams long before everyone else.
Final exams - an inability to sleep. Wrote several exams stupefied.
Acort and the note to see the headmaster
Only an A and coming at the top of the class will do.
Dreading school swimming when cold.
Depression and obsession
Nordika soap obsession
Outside room and smell of hamster urine
Obsession re contaminated pond water
Std 9 depression - not know what was happening
Afraid I had schizophrenia (for some reason I can't remember)
Emotional bullying
High school bullying (Leon, Gorrie, Canagoski, borders)
Myburgh's mommy
Gorrie "You're so ugly."
Leon "He'll never get an A." Learns by rote.
Humiliation and shame
Unprepared speech when I had a mind blank in front of the school and Gramps
Forum Discussion chairman - mind went blank (Std 8). Madam Suttle tirade as a result.
Afrikaans essay on rugby read to the class. I was accused of cribbing (Std 8)
In Std 1, I said something to a new student that others in the class didn't like and felt judged by them and ashamed (fuzzy memory of the details but I remember being in floods of tears during the break.)
Had to put my hands on my head and keep them there as punishment for talking (Sub A)
Guilt
Took stamps and hid in desk
Rowan Alston and the little china figures
Money for stamps
Missed a physics test that I had to write when I came back. Andrew Miller gave me his paper to prepare.
Andrew found Afrikaans exam questions ahead of the exam and some of us cribbed.
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