}

7 August 1976

An obsessive compulsive phase I went through (aged 14 - 17)

When I was 14 (in Std 7 at school), I did my school work on a pine desk in my room that had a lift up lid. At some stage, for some reason, I put some bars of  Nordika soap into my desk which spread it's scent to all the books and stationery there.  Then, suddenly one day, I found myself inexplicably disgusted by the smell of the Norkika. I removed the offending soap, but the smell remained.  If I handled an item that was in my desk, I felt it was infected with the Nordika and I'd feel compelled to go wash my hands. This compulsion developed into an absolute  obsession.  I found myself washing my hands multiple times per day with soap, and then later with even stronger detergents. I felt more and more anxious about contamination by the dreaded Nordika soap. It made me feel absolutely helpless.  

I can't remember exactly how the obsession ended. I asked my parents if I could move rooms and this helped a bit but the obsession diminished very slowly. By the time I was 15, in a higher standard at school, the obsession was a little easier to manage but it persisted several years.  I didn't think I would ever get over it. It was a very difficult period of my life that co-incided with being emotionally bullied at school.  I've often wondered if the obsessive compulsive phase I went through was related to that.  In retrospect, it probably was.

My obsession with contamination reared it's head again, but to a lesser extent in Std 9 (aged 17) when I became revolted by the smell of the hamster urine in our outside room and I was wary of handling anything that I felt had been permeated by the smell.

Also, in Std 9, we used a microscope to study uni-celled organisms in pond water. I had a beaker of pond water in my room that I used for the study. I was suddenly revolted by it, leading to more obsessive behaviour.  This was a factor that played a part in precipitating my first bout of depression.

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