Mrs Mac, the swimming teacher. "You'll be here till the lights shine tonight."
The silkworm incident
Mum and dad highly strung at times
Mum and dad often uptight. "It's not ok. You need to worry."
Sometimes fantasised I was adopted.
Terror of Sunday mornings and mum's tirades - usually anger I hadn't put washing out or my room being messy.
Dad could be a bit negative yet quiet, and sometimes I felt judged.
Being smacked (the only time) by dad for something I was completely innocent of.
Fearful and obsessive thoughts
Fear of hell. The concept was introduced at Sunday school I think. The whole idea traumatised me. So did the concept of the devil and evil.
Hell thoughts re Granny and Grandpa. The first signs of obsessive compulsive thoughts.
I went through a time of praying incessantly, feeling very connected to God. Then I watched a movie called "The Dark Crystal" and it filled my mind with dark, "evil" images while praying. I couldn't control it, and felt bad, so I stopped praying. I felt like I had lost something precious. I also felt like my mind was against me, that it wanted to sabotage me, and it made me anxious. The fear of my mind as a malevolent saboteur would torment me for decades and only ceased when I befriended and mastered the mind in my 40's.
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