Memorable moments: A seasoned disappointment

I will never forget the first big raffle I ever won. It was at a massive event—I can't recall the exact occasion now—and anticipation in the room was running high. There were two major prizes up for grabs.

The ticket for the first prize was drawn, and a woman was called up to the stage to collect her reward: an all-expenses-paid trip to Italy. It was a magnificent, dream-of-a-lifetime prize, and the crowd applauded wildly as she went up to accept it.

Then came the moment for the second prize. The host read out the ticket number, and to my absolute shock, it was me! I am normally the kind of person who never wins anything, so I was surprised and thoroughly delighted. As I walked down the aisle toward the stage, my mind was racing with possibilities, wondering what exotic corner of the globe I was about to be whisked away to.

I stepped onto the stage, smiled, and was promptly handed... a large, heavy black bag filled to the brim with something bulky.

What on earth have I won? I thought, holding the sack. A bag of refuse?

I peeked inside, and the reality set in: it was packed to the top with spices. A lifetime supply of culinary seasonings.

Now, a professional chef might have been overjoyed with such a bounty, but I don't cook. The transition from imagining a romantic getaway in Tuscany to holding ten kilograms of ground coriander was an utter, hilarious disappointment.

Needless to say, those spices lasted me for a very long time. In fact, over twenty years later, I have a strong suspicion that a few forgotten jars from that faithful night are still quietly lurking in the dark recesses of my spice drawer.

Memorable moments: The sonic wake-up call

I have a rather unfortunate physiological quirk that causes me profound embarrassment every now and then.

It usually happens when I’m commuting on a quiet train or settled into a long-haul flight. The soothing rhythm of the travel lulls me, my eyes grow heavy, and I start to feel tired. My head slowly sinks down toward my chest, and I momentarily doze off into a peaceful, blissful sleep.

Then, without a single second of warning, my airway collapses and I let out the loudest snort imaginable—a real ripper from deep within the nasal passages, sounding remarkably like a walrus in heat.

The violent sonic boom of my own body shoots me instantly back to full consciousness. My head snaps up, my eyes fly open, and I am immediately met with the horror of thirty fellow passengers who have all turned in their seats to identify the source of the mighty blast.

Thankfully this doesn't happen too often, but when it does, I want to be swallowed up by the floorboards. My only survival strategy is to instantly join the rest of the carriage in looking around with an expression of deep, horrified disgust, silently asking the crowd, "Can you believe the nerve of whoever just did that?!"

Pyrmont

Lovely to explore Pyrmont with my Photography Meetup on a beautiful winter's day. 

Memorable moments: The British Pub Test

My friend Gavin comes from the UK, and during his younger days, he and his mates used to partake in some wild and rather disturbing pub games. One of their absolute favorites was an incredibly bizarre tradition known simply as "cock or ball."

After several pints of beer had been consumed, the game would begin. One of the lads would carefully pull a tiny, isolated piece of skin through the zipper of their trousers—sourced from either the shaft or the testicles. The remaining players then had to examine the exposed sample and make their official deduction.

Apparently, differentiating between the two under dim pub lighting is a lot harder than you might think. Whoever guessed incorrectly was penalized and had to down their drink. For Gavin and his crew, this high-stakes anatomical guessing game caused a great deal of mirth and became a staple of their nights out.

While it certainly makes for a memorable story, I am incredibly glad Gavin has long since moved on from his wilder days. It is definitely not a game I would relish participating in. When I go out for a pint, I prefer to keep my private life completely private, leaving my anatomy safely tucked away exactly where it belongs.

Memorable moments: The existential check-in

James was a wonderful hiking friend who joined us on several of our trail outings before he eventually moved back to New Zealand. He is a profoundly thoughtful chap with a deep interest in existential issues, so I always felt a strong intellectual resonance with him. He also happened to have a highly unusual hobby: several times a week, he would sit inside his broom cupboard, take a heroic dose of magic mushrooms, and attempt to tap directly into the fabric of the universe.

One night, fresh off a session in the cupboard, James came to meet Gavin, me, and a few mates at the local pub.

When he walked in, he greeted us normally but looked a little preoccupied. As the rest of the table fell into our usual loud banter and storytelling, James sat quietly, not saying much of anything, just observing the scene with a distant look in his eye.

Then, during a brief lull in the conversation, he suddenly leaned across the table toward Gavin and me. Lowering his voice to a hushed breath, he asked with total seriousness, "Guys... am I actually here?"

It became instantly clear what was happening. The dose had been so intense that he was struck by the disturbing thought that he was still sitting alone in the dark among the mops and buckets, entirely hallucinating the pub, the pints, and his friends.

Gavin and I quickly reassured him that he was, in fact, physically sitting in the pub with us. A look of great relief washed over his face, and he slowly settled back into his chair. I have never taken mushrooms myself, and listening to a grown man ask his mates for structural confirmation of his own physical existence convinced me right then and there that I probably never would.

Malabar Headland

I was hoping to see the Peregrine Falcon that lives here but I saw Nankeen Kestrel instead. The scenery around the Malabar Headland is spectacular.