Life Trove

Here are some of the notes and memories I used to create my stories of dad.

About dad

Qualities I loved

His gentle, kind nature
His generosity.
His wonderful (and often naughty) sense of humour.
The way his eyes sparkled while telling a funny story.
Immersion in his passion project: happy to spend many hours alone in his workshop making his model trains.
Shy & quiet in large groups but comfortable with close friends, especially those who shared his passion for train building.
Happy to be still and not to be the centre of attention, or need to make constant small talk (My appreciation for this aspect has grown greatly with time, I deeply resonate with it now that I am an adult)
Very strong mechanical skills. Making model trains. Servicing his car. DIY around the house.
He wasn’t controlling, allowing Jo and I to make make our own choices.
Story: My lack of mechanical skills but our mutual delight in electric trains
Story: Colin & the camera
Story: Dad’s humour and naughty streak

Quirks I loved

Burping contentedly and unapologetically after a beer
Instinctively patting mum's behind when they hugged and calling mum "didums"
Often laughing so much at his own jokes that he would start coughing
His expletive: "Jesus Crept!"
His squirrel ways, never throwing things away - and the resultant cluttered maids room
Story: How I got my burping from dad & gran

His appearance

Bald from an early age like me.
Very thin when young but he grew quite a portly “beer belly” later in life.
The beard he would grow later in life, and how good it looked. It inspired me to go the stubble route later in life (my full beard is far more straggly than his)
The beautiful green colour of this eyes, same shade as mine.
His hip shirts (he brought in the fashion long before Nelson Mandela who became famous for his hip, colourful shirts)
Wearing his white medical shirt to and from his dentistry practice.
His train cap and train pins he would wear when taking his trains for a spin round the track.
Photos of dad through his life
Story: My baldness and how I got over it thanks to Oliver
Story: How dad became hip & cool

His profession as a dentist

His dentistry practice at Rondebosch centre and his partner, John Sawkins (Uncle John).
He hated dentistry. Always wished he’d studied engineering which was his passion (he made model trains for a hobby).
Not being an extrovert & shy, he struggled as a dentist as he was not a great one for chit chat and did not have a relaxed bedside manner.
He hated how children were scared of him.
But he was a very good dentist, greatly respected for his craftsmanship. All the preventative fillings he put in when I was young are still there and stopped me getting cavities.
Happy memory: Him teaching Jo & I to brush our teeth, use fluoride rinse and use little pills to see what still needed to be brushed. Jo and I still have a full set of teeth.
Happy memory: Bring syringes home which Jo and I used for water fights.
Not liking his profession, he never forced me or Jo to follow a specific career. He encouraged me to do what I enjoyed.
Story: His exam dissection
Story: The dentist’s son

People he loved

His parents: Lambert & Doris (My grandparents)

He was very fond of his parents, though this love was not effusively or explicitly expressed by him or them.
Hid dad, Lambert, was very reserved. Dad was an introvert, but less so. I am an introvert, but a bit less still. I had my gramps (on mum’s side) to help me be more open and effusive.
Doris, his mum, who doted on him was also quiet. She was very sweet and gentle. I think Dad got his gentleness from her.
Every Sunday, Granny and Grandpa would visit us which would often spin mum into a bad mood (she was not fond of them as they seemed critical of her). Dad would hide in his workshop!
Story: Mum and dad scattering granny & grandpa’s ashes
Granny & Grandpa: Tribute and memories

His wife: Jill (My mum)

They met on a ship coming from London to Cape Town. Dad had been living in London. Mum was coming to Cape Town on an adventure. Mum saw a chap, dapper & goodlooking” and thought “What a dish!” Then discovered he was a pastor! Turned off, she not religious. Then she thought “Oh well, his cabin mate is not too bad” That was dad!
Calling mum "didums" and instinctively patting mum's behind when they hugged - a conditioned response.
Story: Clear signs of their love
Story: How mum & dad met

His children: Jo and me

Jo (his daughter and my beloved sister)
Graeme (Me)
Story: Dad wanted to call me Lambert before I was born

His in-laws: Tony and Dorothy (My gran and gramps)

Mum did not like dad’s parents much but he adored hers and for good reason. They also loved him.
Having his beard trimmed by Gramps.
Visiting gran and gramps for an 11 am whisky.
Dad and Gramps sharing a beer on the "beer step" in our pool
Gran and Gramps coming over to watch a VHS movie on Sunday night with mum & dad. Jo and I having to go to bed.

His friends

Heather & Mike. Mike was a close friend of dad from his university days, a fellow dentist. Later, some years after my dad’s death, my mum would marry him after his wife, Heather, died and he would become my step dad.
His partner in his dental practice: John Sawkins. By his own admission, they were like naughty schoolboys when they got together and they continued to do so after dad retired.
Very close to his train friend, Jimmy, who was elderly and lived nearby at the park and also had a workshop making trains. They had a very special bond.
Derek, another train friend
Visiting another train friend, Stan, in Melkbos for braais. Stan had a model train track around his garden right on the beach which drew all the train club members and their families.
His soft spot for my friend Julian, who studied engineering and loved dad’s trains. Dad helped him with some of his engineering projects.

Jocelyn & Hugo, Julian’s parents (Mum and dad went on an overseas trip with them and we also went on family camping trips with them when Jo & I were young.)
Doreen & John Cully: We spent every Xmas together, a real family ritual. Jo and I loved their two daughters, Jane and Wendy.

Our family dogs

Dad loved our family dogs: Cindy, Scamp, Tina, Meg.
He loved throwing the ball for Tina and Meg down the driveway with them competing for the ball.
He loved making Tina widdle with excitement by opening his arms in greeting.
Using his torch to make a moving light that Tina would chase.
Washing the dogs with a hose pipe and “derma death”.
Story: Thick as Tina
Family pets including Tina, Meg and Scamp

Things he loved

How I inherited many of dad’s passions

Steam trains, making model locomotives and his workshop

Dad's passion was making model steam locomotives. The larger ones he made were capable of pulling seven adults and at school fetes and club family meets, he brought much joy to adults and kids alike. Some of the larger trains he made took up to 6 years to make. They were a real work of art. Every inch of each train, including even the screws and rivets, was handmade on metal lathes he had in his workshop where he would spend many hours, immersed in his labour of love.
His workshop was his sanctuary where we spent many, many hours making model trains.
His beautiful steam locomotivces that were real works of art.
His large lathes in his workshop and metal filings on the floor.
Going round and round the track on his train at the club track at Goodwood wearing his steam train hat and pins.
His excitement when he completed his first big locomotive.
Helping dad to carry his locomotive to his car.
His steam meets at the model train club.
His train friends: Stan, Derek and especially Jimmy who was elderly and by a park near to our house in Rodebosch. Dad would go over multiple times a week.
Going to Stan’s house in Melkbos (by the beach) for club braais which had a train track around the garden that attracted all the club members and their families.
The Viste Nova school fete (my first school) where he ran his trains and the excitement of the children when they got to ride on it.
His love of reeal steam trains too and riding on them at every opportunity. He used to go on steam train trips with club friends. He would take his video recorder and make “train videos”
Hiding from mum in his workshop on a Sunday when mum would get in a bad mood and go on the war path.
Later on, making two trains named after mum (Jill) and Jo.
I did not share dad’s mechanical ability but I was inspired by his passion and dedication to his craft. I too, to be fulfilled, need at least one passion project on the go. I did share a love of steam trains themselves and loved my electric train collection, some of which were little steam locomotives.
Me playing with my electric trains while he worked in his workshop.
Dad’s true calling
Story: Finding dad’s blue movie

Travel & experiences

As a dental student, he lived with the kalahari bushman for a short period out in the desert, helping with their dental needs.
He lived in London for a while and met mum on the ship coming back to South Africa. Mum was English and came to Cape Town on an adventure.
He loved going on road trips and took me on several to Knysna, The Swartberg Pass and game parks in Zululand.
We did the Orange River together when I was final year school. We capsized in a rapid which really stressed him out and spoiled the trip for him a bit.
Mum and he went on some overseas travels together.
Family holidays to Midmar Dam, the Drakensberg, Mauritius.
Trip to visit Gran & Gramps in the UK when I was 6.

The outdoors

Fishing - he taught me to fish during our camping trips.
Story: Dad teaching me to fish
Travel & road trips
Sleeping out on the patio under the stars.
Surfing the waves at Muizenberg on his polystyrene board.
Swimming in the pool.
Doing the Skeleton Gorge walk with him at Kirstenbosch.
Story: Sleeping out on the patio (I tripped over him at 5 am in the morning after a party but he did not wake up).

Watching TV & reading

Finance Week (a financial magazine) and a weekly finance letter he read for the sake of his investments.
Books on history
"The World at War" TV series.
Often falling asleep on the couch watching TV.
Our saturday night family TV (Magnum PI, The A Team) with coffee and chocolate.
Watching VHS movies with mum and gran & gramps on a Sunday night. Jo & I had to go to bed early for school.
Introducing me to his favourite childhood book about a blind lumberjack and his dog (title unknown) that I adored.

Food & drink

Beer
Memory: Dad and Gramps sitting on the beer step in the pool
Whisky (especially with Gramps at 11 am)
Chocolate ginger
Mum’s cooking (especially her Sunday roast beef & yorkshire pudding)
Story: Trying to encourage me to drink beer, not cider (a girl's drink!)

Music

His pride in his (once) very high tech music system - we were not allowed to touch it!
Loved listening to “Hooked on Classics” album and "Pomp and Circumstance" in the car
Hooked on classics

Taking photos and video

His old camera
He was a good photographer & took great photos of Jo and I. A wonderful record of our childhood.
Filming our Xmas present opening with his video camera.
Filming our road trips and steam train journeys.
Story: How we hated be videoed but now a priceless treasure
Xmas family videos taken by dad

His cars

His red beetle and old mustard coloured variant.
Servicing his car in the driveway.
Memory: Helping dad carry his locomotive to his car.
Story: Picking us up in the variant from school (and being told by Jo to hide round the corner so her school friends would not see her get into it)

Vivid memories and moments

Family rituals

Videoing us opening our presents at Xmas despite our protestations.
San marco icecream and walks at Sea Point - and going on the "choo choo" train.
Our saturday night family TV ritual, watching Magnum Pi & the A team with coffee and chocolate.
All piling into bed on a Sunday morning
Story: Combing his hair after the beach
Story: Family washing up ritual (mum washed, I dried and handed to dad, dad handed to Jo, and Jo put away!)

Family holidays

Every year as kids we would go to Eight Bells, a farm near Mossel Bay where I would ride horses. A big part of our childhood
UK trip to visit Gran & Gramps when I was 6.
In final year of school, we went as a family to the Drakensberg & Midmar Dam. We also went to Mauritius.
During our stop on the way to Eight Bells, dad would replenish the petrol in the car out of a big plastic container. For some reason it was illegal to do that at the time, so he'd do it on the sly.
Story: Mauritius driving in the middle of the road
Drakensberg & Midmar dam
Mauritius

Excited

Dad erecting our tree house (platform) in the garden.
The building of our swimming pool and allowing Jo and I to swim in it when only half full.
Going to the electrical model train shop and buying me my 1st set of Lima trains with me - both equally excited.
Buying me my Minolta 9000 camera.

Introducing me to his favourite childhood book about the blind lumberjack and his dog (title unknown).
Giiving me his stamp collection to add to my own.
Buying our Melkbos holiday home
Helping me paint my newly purchased home in Willow Road when I was 19.
Dad completing his 1st train
Moments of excitement dad and I shared
Story: My lack of mechanical ability & buying 1st Lima train set

Camping at Uilenskraal

Camping as a child with dad and grandpa (3 generations of boys) at Uilenskraal
The immense love I felt for dad, that night at Uilenskraal, when we walked in the caravan park
Teaching me to fish and to tie on hooks and sinkers.
Big breakfast fry ups
Teaching me to fish
We also did family camping with mum and Jo and the Rusconis with our big family tent.
Memories: Camping as a child

Beach

His love of surfing at Muizenberg, especially on his polystyrene board
Lazing on Boulders beach and St James.
See story: Combing his hair in car before leaving the beach (much to the chagrin of people wanting his parking spot!)
Childhood memories at the beach

Dogs

Throwing the ball for Tina and Meg and shining the torch for Tina to try to catch.
Cleaning the dogs with hose pipe and "Dermadeath"
Making Tina widdle with excitement by opening his arms in greeting.
Family pets including Tina, Meg and Scamp

Road trips dad and I did together

Some of my favourite memories of dad come from these trips
The trip to Knysna and the Swartberg pass.
Trip to Zululand (Umfolozi and Mkuzi wildlife parks)
Doing the Mkuzi fig forest walk. We were so good together. Me watching birds, him videoing the walk.
Sharing a canoo for 5 days on the Orange River and capsizing on the rapid.
See story: Telling me the dead cockroach I found in my bed at Knysna was a bed bug (I'll never forgive him!)
Zululand with dad
Orange River trip
Swartberg pass
Story: Bedbug fiction

Dentistry

A white packet with syringes from work on his top shelf in the workshop. Jo and I could fill them with water and squirt each other
Taking one of my teeth out in his workshop.
Drilling many teeth to stop cavities later in life.

Fires & braais

Getting pine cones at Constantia Nek together and making a fire in the lounge
Braaiing meat on "the barrel" and starting the fire with petrol.
See story: dad’s love of petrol
Story: Dad’s petrol rebellions

Politics

Asking him “Who Is Mandela” after seeing “Free Mandela” graffiti at the station. Also asking “Why only white people allowed at beach?”
His pessimism about South Africa’s future.

More vivid memories